Honey Pie

We always hear about catcalls happening to women but often men are the recipients of harrassment:


So I was a little early meeting my girlfriend at her apartment uptown, so I thought I'd go to the local liquor store and pick up some wine. Walking innocently enough along, I heard from over my shoulder "Wanna fuck me tonight, Honey Pie?". I briefly turned around, expecting the cliche, drunk, crazy lady... and was a little startled (and saddened) to see a rather normally dressed woman, rolling a sort of designer piece of luggage as though on her way to catch a shuttle to LA for a lunch meeting or something. She clearly was in some kind of mental distress, perhaps off some medication... I'm not just being modest in a "She must be looney tunes to want me to fuck her tonight" kind of way... she was nuts.

Anyway, I thought nothing of it (remember... I was visiting my girlfriend... so I couldn't really even consider the offer in good conscience). I picked up the wine and went to wait by the subway exit for my girlfriend when who should I see but my new lady friend stalking that very exit. I crossed the street pretty quickly and tried not to look like I was stalking this unfortunate woman as I watched her dry hump the CVS on the corner and squat in some kind of mock-defecation, pointing at herself as she did as if to indicate to passers-by that yes, indeed, she is pretending to shit for them. All in all a sad display, even sadder perhaps that it might have been one of the more romantic things a stranger has flattered me with.

Just goes to show, given the right neurochemical breakdown, even men can be the victims of cat calls.

-Anonymous